Erratic Emotions

It’s finals week. Not only that, but it’s my last finals week in my college career. And, let me tell you this: I’m an emotional mess. A good emotional mess, a confused emotional mess, an excited emotional mess, and all of those descriptive words I forgot. Let’s go over the list of things that are about to change in my life.

  1. I’m graduating college, thus no more school, homework, quizzes, tests, pointless lectures, or useful lectures.
  2. I’m moving out of my apartment I’m in love with to move my things home to Carroll.
  3. I’m moving to New York City. Enough said.
  4. I’m leaving my friends, family, university, and community that I’ve known my entire life.
  5. I’m leaving the Midwest and entering an entirely different world called the east coast.
  6. I’m no longer considered a student for the Summer Publishing Institute but a professional.
  7. I’m losing any student funding and security – health insurance, etc.
  8. Starting in October, repaying over $$,$$$ worth in student loans.

The list goes on…

My point? I’m changing every aspect of my life and I’m kind of freaking out. I cry without notice for any amount of time, varying from 30 seconds to a full-on 15 minutes – in excitement and panic. I shake my head in disbelief of my dream coming true while sighing “Oh my God!” with a huge smile on my face. I shake my fist at no one in particular about the frustration of studying and cramming for projects and exams. You name it; I’ve felt it in the past week.

Last Friday I awoke questioning my path and if my dreams of having a family and being a mom – the one thing I have been confident about until my love for editing/writing – were being overlooked. New York City has been my dream since I entered the journalism industry sophomore year. My license plate reads, “CY2NYC” for God’s sake! This is a dream for me too. This swings back to the emotional mess part of finals week.

Not only did I survive my first final, I aced it. My book presentation went amazingly and I take my very last final exam of my life tomorrow at noon. I’m finishing strong and loving it behind teary eyes and smiles that are as about erratic as it gets. So if we cross paths or you read some questionable tweets or Facebook statuses, know that it’s just Jenn being an emotional crazed graduating senior who is trying to keep all her dreams alive while making sure her apartment is spotless for the twenty-plus family members and friends coming this weekend.

Happy Graduation to my fellow Iowa State graduates!

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