Today I Feel Pretty

Today I feel pretty and I know exactly why. Sometimes people say they feel a certain way but can’t quite put their finger on it as to what big epiphany has influenced their life. Well, today I looked like this: Pretty.

Today

Yesterday I looked like this: Trying, but seemingly failing miserably.

Beginning of New York

And every other day before, I looked like this: a zip-up hoodie, a college t-shirt, and jeans. My comfort zone: baggy, non-flattering, college-grub.

The Old Usual

Needless to say, I have a reason to feel pretty today. It’s a bigger deal than just stating, “Oh I feel pretty” with a cheesy smile on my face. (It’s not like this song.) This is a huge day for me. Besides senior prom, college graduation, and the occasional curly hairstyle bar night, I don’t feel pretty. I mean I’m not hopeless, but I’m not smokin’ hot and gorgeous either. My parents gave me good genes and I love my clear skin, straight brunette hair, and brown “Dryden” eyes that they blessed me with, but feeling truly pretty and actually saying it to myself with confidence is a big deal. GET IT; IT’S A BIG DEAL!

This is thanks to my NYC best friend, Desire’e Bussiere, and our shopping spree yesterday at H&M, Strawberry, and DSW. I needed a personal shopper because A) I have no fashion sense, B) She has fashion sense, and C) I hate shopping because of A.

I never have felt good about myself confined in a dressing room. I don’t get claustrophobic but every time I enter a dressing room, the walls close in. There’s always too many clingy clothes, too many mirrors showing only the worst angles to my size 10-12 body, and too many negative thoughts in my head. No confidence, no back-up plans, nothing. I’m empty. I’m trapped. Every hanger hung with fabric sewn into a shirt, pant, skirt, or dress has always made me wish to be hiding under the covers in my comfortable, non-flaunting Iowa State gear – complete with the 2008 football tee and a pair of grey sweatpants from American Eagle.

Shopping is something every girl should love. Shopping is the all enveloping connection between every woman in this country, maybe even the world, and I was missing all of it. I missed the connection, the warm feeling of a new outfit, the confidence in knowing how to put a fashionable, appropriate-fitting outfit together. I totally missed that train. Des gets it. She’s always got it, it seems… so does her sister, our other roommates, and every other girl in America! (OK, that’s an exaggeration. I know I’m not alone. I mean check out this website.)

So even though I spent a lot of money on clothes that should have been spent on paying off my college debt, I know it was money well spent. You can dress each outfit up or down, make it professional or casual, mix and match tops and bottoms, and layer things. But even though those are all great reinforcers to tell my mom why I charged so much, the winning answer will be when I tell her that today, I feel pretty. (Thanks, Des.)

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