“In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life.” – Mumford and Sons “Awake My Soul”
The simple lines that are sung conversely in a song I recently heard for the second time… which was then repeated four more times… tells of what my mind has been stumbling over for the past six months.
The East Coast vs The Family
Where is my love? Where is my life? What is my greater love? What loves me more? Who do I want to love? Who do I need to love? Where do I want to live? Where does my love reside? When do I decide to love? When do I decide my life? Why must I choose love and immediately choose my life? Can’t I love more than one team?
Answer: No. Plain and simple, no. Here’s why…
My life I see as my career at this point because A) no man, B) I worked so hard for it, C) independence, D) passion for the industry. My life is in New York. My internship I absolutely love is in New York. Tall buildings, the hustle and bustle, the musicals, the crazies, the hard core personalities are here. Katie and the Sterling crew is here. Street entertainment, Broadway shows are here. There’s-never-a-dull-moment is here. My dream career is here.
But, where is my love? My loves are back in Iowa, the Midwest, in Ohio. My loves are surrounded my green grass and yards without metal fences and garbage. My loves are barefoot, sitting on the front porch on a phone call with me states and states away. My loves sink feet into the carpet that layers their homes. My loves are traveling by car, commuting in less than 5-20 minutes, coming home in time for a nice, homemade dinner. My loves visit for every holiday instead of the ones they can afford. My loves say they miss me, but it’s only through a phone, chat, or text. My loves know my past, present, and support my future.
My loves claim: Iowa State University, the Iowa State Daily, Carroll, Ames, Davenport, and Coralville, Iowa, Chicago and Moline, Illinois, Hamilton, Ohio, Minneapolis, Minnesota… need I go on? My loves claim the Midwest.
My loves are my mom, my cat, my dad (in the summers), my brother, my cousins Lindsay/Elizabeth/Steph, my Andrea, my Desire’e, my Holly and Mike, my Bethany and Ivy, my other ISU friends, my Brook and Scott, my little sisters: Amelia/Alexandra, my Casey and Bryan, my aunts, my uncles, my grandparents, my Everyone. My Everyone is my love.
So if “Where you invest your love, you invest your life” is as true as fact, then why is my love so far away from my life? Or, for that matter… blame it on me, why is my life so far away from my love?