Disclaimer: This might contradict the post I just posted. #whatever
Not every blank space has to be filled. Think about your life as a Mad Lib.
_____(Your Name)_____, has a ____(Positive Adjective)____ mom and a ____(Positive Adjective)____ dad. They make me so ____(Adjective)____! Whenever I think about my childhood, I remember ____(Fun Memory from Ages 0-10)____. It really makes me ___(Verb)___! Last year, I met _____(Boyfriend/Girlfriend’s Name)_____ and he/she is _____(Adverb)____ ____(Adjective)____. When I become ___(Age)___ I will marry them. It will be ___(Adjective)___! We will live ___(Adverb)___ ever after.
People expect this life story. Society has groomed us all to go to school, graduate, go to more school, graduate, meet fantasy partner along the way, get married, breed children, and raise them right or else! We are expected to have supportive parents, normal siblings, and awesome friends.
Think about all the blank spaces in your life: boyfriend, girlfriend, Mom, Dad, best-friend-who’s-always-been-there-for-you. It would be great if some of those were filled, but in reality maybe it’s better that they’re not. Maybe it’s better that they’re not filled with people who are worthless, or people who you’re better off without.
I know there are a lot of filled spaces in our past, like with me and ex-boyfriends-who-ended-up-being-losers and friends-who-aren’t-going-to-be-my-BFF. And I’m better off. I don’t live in the past, although I do write about it quite often.
I know my current, most obvious blank space is ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’. Everybody feels like it’s a blank space and it should be filled. (Thank you, Society!) An eternal ellipses playing in my brain is my view of that blank space. Then I think about the role of a boyfriend/girlfriend, and I don’t feel the need to fill it. I’m okay with blank spaces because I know that one is supposed to be open still. When the Mad Lib above the description of ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’s name’ is filled in, it’ll have the right name.
I’ve tried to write my life. I’ve tried to predict the future and plan ahead. I filled in Mad Libs and played MASH as a teenager. I thought I’d be married by now, with the first kid on the way next year. Life isn’t a game kids play with their best friends at one in the morning. It doesn’t work that way. Planning your life, falling in love doesn’t work that way, although I keep trying, naively.
Sometimes you have to let go, embrace the blank spaces in your life and let fate, or whatever you believe in, write the future. (Even for us who have control issues.)