If you know me you know I am obsessed with Big Brother. My entire year hits holiday in late June and I’m the happiest when I can fall asleep with the 24/7 live feeds on and wake up at 3:30 a.m. just to see what the house guests are up to. People hate broken sleep, but for three months or around 100 days, I live and breath Big Brother, sleepless nights stalking them via feeds, and basically playing the game alongside them.
The show starts in two days, Wednesday, June 25, and I just watched the cast interviews. I have ranked them from HATE–>Annoying–>Boring–>Meh–>OK–>Cool–>Like–>LOVE. This is NOT my prediction for a winner, but my first impressions based solely on their interviews with Jeff on CBS.com’s live feeds.
Liz = HATE: you basically can see her nipples in her revealing dress and although her strategy is clearly to be a slut without being a slut, it’s just a big no for me. I wrote down “deep, annoying voice = OMG EVICT ASAP!” Then as she flipped her hair and nearly blinked off her fake eyelashes, I drew a skull and bones and wrote “laugh=death”.
Johnny Mack = Annoying: Anyone who wants to keep a secret about being a superfan is just thinking wrong right off the bat. Who cares. If you’re on the show, you’re either a superfan or recruited in a drunken bar in LA or New York. I’d rather be a superfan. Seems like an airhead, is too loud. But I can see him bonding with the “bros” of the house, but will definitely be the first to go, or the pon all the time. I wrote down “what a goofy idiot = my reaction”.
James = Boring: An Asian person in camo = cool match, right? He looks more interesting than what he speaks about, but he seems like a nice man with a family. Based on his past, he is probably mentally strong, which could get him far if he also plays that “I’m a hunter and an Asian” card. I’m just left looking at the video’s length and thinking, “I’m bored as hell.”
Davon = Meh: She’s the only black person in the cast and that pisses me off. But putting that aside because I chose to be a teacher and not a casting agent, she is a new mom to a seven-month-old daughter. When she said that I immediately questioned if she’d be pumping while in the house and secretly shipping the milk off to her daughter. Why such a thought? I don’t know; don’t try to understand my mind! She’s loud, a “straight shooter” and seems fun. Way more fun than Candace, who was awfully annoying. Also, when you read way down this list you’ll meet Vanessa (back off, I called dibs!), I was worried about her as a pro poker player, because Davon is a poker dealer. I hope she doesn’t recognize her! #saveVanessa
Becky = OK: There’s nothing about her that’s memorable besides the fat that she won’t win, and in which case, we don’t have to remember her. My prediction is that she’ll be “friends” with Shelli and probably the HATE bitch Liz. The end.
Clay = OK: Yeah, all the women will fall in love with his face and the odd resemblance to Jeff Schroeder. It’s just how society works. Accept it and move on. I laughed out loud when he said he was a “superfan” except that he’s a poser. Yeah, that’s right, I said ‘poser’. That’s what he is. He has only watched the show for four months, although he claims he got through eight seasons. News Flash: THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU A SUPERFAN! That makes you a student, ya ass! He seems like a sweetheart with that southern charm that could get Shelli or Becky or (god help us all) Liz. I hope he’s better than Liz. But then again, look at Brenden and Rachel. *eye roll*
Jace = Like: He’s the surfer, skater, personal trainer, long-haired blonde guy. He seems personable, had a good vocabulary and said he’s all for the fans. I appresh him, but he uses a lot of cliches. #Englishteacherprobs But I like him.
Steve = Like: He’s the less OCD version of Ian. He’s a student someplace for audio engineering and music. Superfan and nerdy. Super adorable and will use it to his advantage to win over house guests… as he should. I wrote “Good kid!” next to his name because that’s what people will say about him in the house. You go, smartypants!
Austin = Like: He’s the scary looking wrestler guy who could easily be mistaken for a caveman. What his picture looks like is the opposite of how he talks and I like that twist. He’s a pro wrestler and has a second persona when he puts on his big black top hat. His alter ego’s name is Judas. He seems really nice! I like him.
Shelli = Like: I like her because she reminds me of my best friend from journalism school Andrea. She seems nice and funny. I like her. She’ll be a woman in the house I won’t hate on, unless she befriends Liz too much. I’m hoping Shelli is smarter than that. *crosses fingers*
Audrey = Like: Aside from the fact that we all know she’s transgendered, which I fully support and love that BB is being so open mineded, she seems tough and serious about the game. Also, damn, modern medicine and surgery, FTW! She looks good, and I doubt many people will even notice she’s trans. #LGBTlove You go, Glen Coco!
Jason = Love: He stocks grocery store shelves, but his full-time job is being flipping funny. He is so pumped up to be on BB and he wants to form a girls alliance (which won’t work), but he thinks that a girls alliance will work with his “gay glue” to keep them all together. Not a bad idea at all. I kept laughing at his bubbly and happy personality. I love this guy.
Meg = LOVE: She’s a waitress in NYC so she’s a socialite. Plus she lives in a huge city that has to deal with people of all sorts, which makes her patient. I would probably be drawn to her as an ally if I were on this year’s show simply because she quoted Taylor Swift with “hater’s gunna hate”. Also she’s super funny and completely adorable with what comes out of her mouth. Her peppiness might be her downfall, but we’d be friends. I even wrote down, “I want to be her friend!” in my notes.
Vanessa = LOVE: She’s a pro poker player and a DJ. Right from the start, I’m intrigued at how she’ll play the game and manipulate people with a “poker face”. She seems to be a logical thinker and goodhearted. Plus she’s hot and gay and yes, please. Love her style and potential to kick ass. I just hope Davon doesn’t recognize her (as she’s a poker dealer). I question BB’s intentions with casting two poker-infused people. Vanessa’s my favorite for many reasons.
So there you go! My first impressions of the 14 BB17 house guests. Last year there was 16… hmmmmm, let me over analyze this for another day. What’s the twist? I’ve heard many things like having a former house guest come in each week to lead some sort of competition or something else. Who knows, but as always I will expect the unexpected and keep applying so I can get my run at my one true summer’s love. #BB17