Tag Archives: music

Dark Music

Why does music seem louder at night
among the darkness and the stars?
It should complete the Zen of night time,
add to the dreams you are embarking,
and just blend.
Yet it heightens your senses
and outs your stresses.
You feel more alone,
more vulnerable.
Why is the dark so loud?
Does the dark increase volume
to remind you that
even in your darkest moments
you are still alive?
Maybe I should shut it off.


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Love vs Life

“In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life.” – Mumford and Sons “Awake My Soul”

The simple lines that are sung conversely in a song I recently heard for the second time… which was then repeated four more times… tells of what my mind has been stumbling over for the past six months.

The East Coast vs The Family

Where is my love? Where is my life? What is my greater love? What loves me more? Who do I want to love? Who do I need to love? Where do I want to live? Where does my love reside? When do I decide to love? When do I decide my life? Why must I choose love and immediately choose my life? Can’t I love more than one team?

Answer: No. Plain and simple, no. Here’s why…

My life I see as my career at this point because A) no man, B) I worked so hard for it, C) independence, D) passion for the industry. My life is in New York. My internship I absolutely love is in New York. Tall buildings, the hustle and bustle, the musicals, the crazies, the hard core personalities are here. Katie and the Sterling crew is here. Street entertainment, Broadway shows are here. There’s-never-a-dull-moment is here. My dream career is here.

But, where is my love? My loves are back in Iowa, the Midwest, in Ohio. My loves are surrounded my green grass and yards without metal fences and garbage. My loves are barefoot, sitting on the front porch on a phone call with me states and states away. My loves sink feet into the carpet that layers their homes. My loves are traveling by car, commuting in less than 5-20 minutes, coming home in time for a nice, homemade dinner. My loves visit for every holiday instead of the ones they can afford. My loves say they miss me, but it’s only through a phone, chat, or text. My loves know my past, present, and support my future.

My loves claim: Iowa State University, the Iowa State Daily, Carroll, Ames, Davenport, and Coralville, Iowa, Chicago and Moline, Illinois, Hamilton, Ohio, Minneapolis, Minnesota… need I go on? My loves claim the Midwest.

My loves are my mom, my cat, my dad (in the summers), my brother, my cousins Lindsay/Elizabeth/Steph, my Andrea, my Desire’e, my Holly and Mike, my Bethany and Ivy, my other ISU friends, my Brook and Scott, my little sisters: Amelia/Alexandra, my Casey and Bryan, my aunts, my uncles, my grandparents, my Everyone. My Everyone is my love.

So if “Where you invest your love, you invest your life” is as true as fact, then why is my love so far away from my life? Or, for that matter… blame it on me, why is my life so far away from my love?


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Celebrate Being Single

Every single person should start their day with a smile. I’m not saying being in a relationship always sucks because some people are keepers, but the single life is a time that is worth celebrating. It’s worth the top volume of your iTunes account or boombox (I have one, they aren’t retired yet!) and dancing in socks on your kitchen tile floor with a spatula as a mircophone. What is the song you should be blaring? Well there are many, but please trust me when I say start with “Ridin’ Solo” by the surprisingly young 20-year-old Jason Derulo. Within the opening bumps to the song, your shoulders will start alternating heights, your head will start to bob, and your smile of singleness will reach to your deep dimples.

Here’s my mad playlist for a morning single dance party. Admission: one.

  1. Ridin’ Solo by Jason Derulo 
  2. Miss Independent by Ne Yo  (Always keep them thinking… be independent!)
  3. It’s My Life by Bon Jovi
  4. Who You Are Without Me by Kate Voegele (Be honest with him/her. Look out for Number one!)
  5. Independent Woman by Destiny’s Child
  6. I’m Every Woman by Whitney Houston (I love WH! SO MUCH! Belt it out!)
  7. Single Ladies by Beyonce (You knew it was coming!)
  8. And finally, when you find “The One” way down the road, you can say to all your friends that this is “your song”… Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson

And if you had a good summer fling, listen to this: (Love Hangover by Jason Derulo) and don’t regret it…. unless he/she was total jerk. In that case, listen to this song: (Goodbye by Kristinia DeBarge).

Single life rocks! Happy independent dancing!

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